


Baby B

by thewightknight



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Adoption, Baby B - Freeform, Gen, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27609502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: Whatever happened to that third baby, on the night of the Antichrist's birth?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Baby B

As far as orphanages went, St. William’s wasn’t the best, but it was by far from the worst. Several years ago, if you’d visited, you’d have found conditions to be less desirable, but things had changed. None of the nuns who ran the orphanage connected a mostly hairless newborn, delivered in the dead of night by a strange, thin man in black, wearing sunglasses (At night! Can you believe it?), to their reversal in fortunes, but it was on that night that the institution’s course took a sudden turn. Additional funds appeared, and the nuns bought better beds and blankets and food and toys, and all the children benefited from this sudden largesse, which continued long after this particular baby left. (And no one, no one ever at all, suspected that the tall, thin man in black had anything to do with it.)

The baby the man in black delivered (not in that way) was unremarkable in every way. He fussed as much as most babies did, but also had his sweet periods too. His hair came in an average brown, and his eyes turned a muddled hazel from their initial blueish color. He fell in the exact middle of the range for height and weight. The only unusual thing the nuns would have said about him, if anyone had asked, was that he began sleeping through the night sooner than other infants around his age.

This baby, first referred to as Baby B by a certain Personage, lived at St. William’s for the first eighteen months of his life. The nuns named him Peter, after the apostle, as was their habit when they received unnamed children.

The couple that came to the orphanage, eighteen months to the day that Baby B had been born, were a quiet couple, with nothing remarkable about them either. So when they saw this quiet, unremarkable baby, well, it was inevitable.

When it came time to sign the adoption papers, the woman turned to her husband and said, “But not Peter, surely?”

And her husband, who loved her to the point of ridiculousness, sighed. So instead of Peter, the adoption papers named Baby B. after his wife’s father, Jeremy, and Wensleydale, after his wife’s favorite cheese.

They might have well called him Peter, as no one ever used his given name. His parents started it, beginning to call him ‘youngster’ in his early years, hoping that might encourage him to act more like a youngster and less like an overly cautious middle-aged man. Then when he first met Adam in primary school, Adam took one look at him and called him Wensley, and because Adam called him Wensley, forever after that’s what all the Them called him.

So for those who were paying attention, yes, Baby B grew to be a happy, mostly normal child, and even though he became one of the Antichrist’s best friends, he still grew further to become a normal, fairly contented adult.  
  
And yes, he won prizes for his tropical fish, which he named Mabel and, for some odd reason, Cain.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you want to say hi, [check out my profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/profile) for where I’m currently hanging out on this here internet thing. If you liked this, please share! Kudos are love and comments are always appreciated, no matter how old the fic is.


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